When it comes to annual disclosures from financial services companies, I’ll be honest—I never read them. When they arrive as direct mail, I shred them. When they arrive in digital form, I file the unopened email into a folder.
Today’s the wonderful day! We’re legally required—and freely excited—to send you these very important Annual Disclosures of Regulation E Guidelines for Electronic Fund Transfers and Privacy Practices.
Encouraging expressions motivate readers to continue, saying, “Don’t sleep too soon!” and “Let go your reluctance!” Following these energy-inducing phrases, the email launches into “lines of regulatory poetry,” otherwise known as Regulation E, (a siren song to fraud).
To reward users for reaching the end of the disclosures, the email concludes with a “Museum of the Mundane.” In case you aren’t a Simple customer and don’t have the luxury of reading the most entertaining regulatory disclosure email ever created, here are the features from the “Museum:”
Simple concludes the entertaining email with mundane wishes:
Give thanks, Julie! Today’s a bigger day than you thought. Pull out a blanket, pop some champagne, and gather your friends for a reading of this caring, protective, regulatory gift. Regulation E! Yes, please!
There you have it. From Team Simple to you and yours, bidding you mundane wishes this holiday season.